10-day ends and what happens? We get slaughtered by homework, papers and tests. Day in and day out, it’s nothing but constant studying, not to mention the pressure of the presidential election which is adding to the anxiety. The Tuesday after we returned from 10-day, our Theology paper was due, and the following Monday was going to include an Art History quiz, Tuesday would bring a Western Civilization test, Wednesday would be the Philosophy exam and Thursday we would leave for our Northern Italy trip. Stressed out yet? *cue Beethoven’s 5th* Dun dun dun duuuun. DUN DUN DUN DUUUNNNNNN! Well the Theology paper wasn’t too bad. At least that weekend I would go on the women’s silent retreat UD was offering.
The retreat was fantastic. It was located at a beautiful retreat house located on the side of a mountain with a perfect view overlooking Lake Albano and the entire city of Rome further out. It literally felt like being outside of the world for a couple of days. Everyone had their own room too. The food and accommodations were fabulous and we had 24 hour adoration/exposition. I always learn something new on retreat. This time I learned about the Ignatian way of Meditative and Contemplative prayer. After all that I’ve read about these methods of prayer, I am really hyped about trying them out. One of my favorite parts of the retreat included saying the Rosary with Fr. Benedict Groeschel and Simonetta (ipod) and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy in song (also ipod) while overlooking the nighttime view of Rome and Lake Albano. It was so beautiful. By the end of the retreat, I think I was the only one who immediately missed the silence the moment everyone was allowed to speak again. I really value and enjoy the silence and solitude, so it’s always hard at the end of a retreat, even if my friends whom I haven’t seen in ages are on that same retreat. Yeah, I think I’ll always stand alone on that one.
I didn’t study during retreat, so the tests the following days were killers. Actually I’ll take that back. Monday’s Art & Arch quiz was pretty easy, but Tuesday’s West. Civ. test was very intense. It’s the short amount of time we have to complete the test that causes the most pressure on the students. Considering the short amount of time, I think I did alright on the first half of the test, but I’m still pretty shaky about the second half. Whatever grade I receive on this test, I’m determined to seize and destroy the final test without question or hesitation.
Wednesday rolled around and I didn’t want to be told the presidential election results until after the Philosophy exam so as not to add to my mental distractions. That didn’t work out so well as the election results slipped out in the form of shaking heads and soft dismayed whispers amongst the disappointed students and instructor. And that was literally just seconds before the professor handed us the exam. No! Wait! That didn’t just happen! Our religious freedoms…marriage…the sanctity of life…all cast into the furnace to be turned to ash? I tried to proceed with the exam for the given hour and a half of writing, but I found myself stopping every other sentence, even though I knew the material almost to the letter, finding myself filled with the fear of what dark future might lie ahead for the American people. Civil war? Riots? Terrorist attacks? Religious criminals? The rise of complete governmental power and the total persecution and annihilation of all morality and religion? It was as if I was suddenly trapped in a nightmare that showed no promise of me ever waking up. Almost halfway through my responses to the question (I was doing alright on time), I came across a stumbling block. Aristotle’s three causes of the soul. Oh, why couldn’t I remember the second one? Aagh! Brain was racing. I was already mentally spent from all the heavy-duty studying we’d been doing the past few days and I was on overload. I’d slept enough the night before (I promise I was in bed shortly after midnight), but I hadn’t eaten breakfast (I’d survived plenty of UD exams and tests without eating prior). I was hot though I’d taken off my jacket, I was on a time limit, I was stressed about the election results and the future of America, and I didn’t know how to answer the next part of the exam question, and I couldn’t continue writing the essay without answering this part first. Too much pressure! Lightheadedness…shallow breathing…I’m not going to beat the faint this time. This wasn’t the first time I’d faint during a test (recall the ACT fainting incident, complete with concussion), but at least this time I knew what to expect. To avoid speaking to my classmates during a test, I put my head on my desk and positioned myself in such a way that I would ensure my safety of not falling out of my chair like I had at the ACT. I let my arm hang off the edge of the desk and clutched my pencil, knowing that the moment I passed out it would fall from my hand and my classmates would know something was wrong. I did feel the pencil slip just a second or two before I passed out. The last thing I remember thinking was, “I’ve always wanted to pass out upon hearing bad news…”
[…and then I saw the Forms…] (philosophy students will get that one)
…light…sight…head still on the desk…then upon realizing I was coming out of a faint, made a mental arm pump, “Yes! Did it!” Fainted upon hearing bad news: check! More or less. At least I disappeared from the nightmare for a few seconds. Gosh, I love telling these fainting stories. Meanwhile, pretty much every student within a two seat radius from me bolted forward to revive me. My next thought: “No! Go back to writing your exams. Save yourselves!” Oh, here’s another good part. This was the first time I’d ever had some water splashed onto my face as a means of reviving me. I’d always wondered if that worked. Let me tell you, it definitely helps! It actually makes the fainting experience more epic because as you wipe the water from your face you feel like you’ve gone through an ocean of timelessness and have come out refreshed. I was still pretty shaken from the trauma of, well, everything. The RAs came to help me as I urged the students who had helped me to hurry back to their exams. The poor professor, who had apparently never had this happen to him, made sure I was okay before the RAs took me out of the room and said I could finish my test later after I returned from our class trip to the Vatican Museum that afternoon. I recovered in the student lounge over a few snacks for a quick blood sugar boost, all the while praying for the other students who were still testing, hoping that my incident hadn’t slowed them down much.
I wasn’t myself for the rest of the day. I don’t think many of us were anyway. The news of the presidency left a rain cloud hanging over the majority of the students and faculty for the rest of the day. Listening to Mozart’s Lacrimosa with another student seemed appropriate while a couple of students chanted “Obama 2012! Four more years!” at the back of our bus on our way to the Vatican Museums. They received little to no recognition by the rest of the students on board. I wasn’t sure why I teared up. Maybe it was because I already felt the persecutions against conservatives already beginning…maybe because I knew of the terrible danger looming over the heads of the American people, particularly the Catholics and all people who valued morality…maybe out of compassion for the people, particularly Catholics, who lauded Obama and did not understand how hostile he was toward Christian values…whatever the reason, I was happy to be heading toward the heart of the Bride of Christ on such a dark day.
The Vatican Museum and Sistine Chapel were unbelievable. So much art in such little time! Gorgeous sculptures, detailed paintings, intricate tapestries, and ancient pottery. I only wish I could have been able to appreciate it more if I had not been so out of it after my faint. Usually after I faint, I’m really lethargic for the rest of the day and I’m just not myself. In all honesty, I don’t think very many students were able to enjoy it as much as they could have due to the heavy beating they’d had on the hard studying for the past few days. Nevertheless, the experience was very memorable. I mean, Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel characters pop right out of the ceiling. They look so real!
I returned to campus after our Vatican Museum visit and was able to pick up where I’d left off on the test. I was better prepared this time and was able to finish almost five minutes before my time was up. I thanked God! All that was left for me to do was pack up for our Northern Italy trip, and our wakeup call was going to be at 5:30 a.m!
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